Saturday, August 13, 2011

We're back to football.

Sort of a choppy one. I'm not at all happy with what it ultimately says about well, first women, second relationships, and third the way we interact with sports. avoid the problems I see happening from reading for these things, I will point them out to you and then say "don't read for these things." Especially anything it says about women. It's not trying to, it's just like the good-natured grandfather who says the wrong things, or should I say believes the wrong things. Anyway hopefully no one actually does read it that way, but I am saying that you can get the wrong impression of me if you read it without the disclaimer. This was straight writing in class, not a finished product, and I wouldn't write like this any other way. But besides, I think it's fun. Perhaps the worst of it is the original title, the terrible "Getting her way." The new title is a riff on the fact that we actually have football, and that I watched parts of the nationally televised season opener a few hours back. Typing it, I realized that I knew the characters and they were one of two couples I've written before, so the plan now would be to figure out which one. Well, if my story-voice is somehow different than my non-story-voice, than the latter one will stop blabbering for now...

"First and fifteen," the announcer's voice is saying but he isn't paying attention because they are fighting again--about what? A brief moment of forgetfulness plagues him as she rants on, but then she touches on a key word and he remembers--the parting in this place and how she can't have any friends over ever, because the apartment they live in has about five visitor spots for the whole complex.

"You picked this place! And you said we would throw Tupperware parties and we would have all this room to impress the people that we could afford this place & look now! It's big and empty and I'm paying forty more than I want to a month because--"

"I'll pay it then; you were the one who was all about going Dutch & contributing equally; I'm totally okay with being the man with the finances--"

"Well that's just it! The man?! I am just as important in this relationship, you never even wear pants!"

Almost laugh, but she'll take it wrong, even after making a joke. As serious as possible, "You're more important than I am..."

"Fourth & seven, now, let's see what they can do--" the TV drowns him out as she has apparently sat on the remote control's volume button. "A running play? Who would've seen this coming?" She is slow to turn the sound back down, searching for the remote with her hands, rather than looking. He does the looking for her, but rather not at the remote. Minds shift, moods lighten.

"Well that's the way it worked, Jon, they faked the punt then the pass, clearly that's going to open things up." He notices the smile on her face--her team is driving...

And that's what this was all about, wasn't it? he thinks to himself. How she couldn't invite her girls to watch the football game. And how awesome is that? To have a girl this passionate about the sport he's most in love with? He stands up and moves from the armchair to sit next to her, to put his arm around her.

"Long pass...this ball looks like it's going to get away or wait! Great leap, Jon, how do you teach that? And can he, yes!, comes down with the ball, 15, one guy could catch him, 10, he could make it, 54321 END ZONE!" She rests her head on his shoulder. Her team's winning now, the world is a bit more bearable.

under the hood
The underlining would normally be italics but I had underlined the words in pen originally and wanted to keep that. The late italics is actually an addition to this typing. In the second sentence, "plagues him" was initially "runs through him." Talking about an apartment complex, I had initially stated "because the apartment complex has about five visitor spots in the whole subdivision" which I have changed to, I will admit, the equally tinny "because the apartment they live in has about five visitor spots for the whole complex." Tupperware, the trademark was "tuperware" in the story, some amazing non-brand name in a world without copyrights or  whatever you want to call it.
"Well that's just it! The man?! I am just as important in this relationship, you never even wear pants!"

Almost laugh, but she'll take it wrong, even after making a joke. As serious as possible, "You're more important than I am..."
^ was initially minus the joke about pants, which would actually scratch one of the couples that this could be talking, now that I think about it. If I ever publish stories with these two on the blog I'll link it here with the edit in caps. The odd almost first person before his response is all new, the original only had the dialogue. I really quite like it though.

behind the scenes
This story ties into a bit of a thought I have on the emotions of sports called emotional capitalism that I might write about in "anthropology of sports" some day and if I do you will see the here marked as a blue (or purple) link. Mainly that sporting creates emotions and yet team sports, at least, do not distribute them equally, and there are people that feel great and still others that at least for a while feel horrible. I've tagged it as "anthropology of sports" for this reason. The beats themselves are not supposed to respond perfectly to their tag groups, it's like cataloging comic crossover specials, there are different ways of sorting. The original sentence has a bit of an uncertainty in it, noted by my professor, namely the "they" could be the announcers or "he" and "the announcer" the only two characters introduced, or any number of people. It's confusing. But I think it's all stylistically important. Looking back on this story, it's almost voyeuristic, supposed to present itself as a random apartment living room on a Sunday, if you'll buy that. All the TV talk was meant to be somewhat satiric, but I don't think it succeeds. Sorry if it bored you. I guess I can say the same for the whole post.

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